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You can’t go back in time and change the past, so feelings of regret and guilt are, in my opinion, a waste of energy. Most people handle situations in the only way they know how, or as best they can at the time, so blaming them makes little sense. Instead, use your precious energy to […]

…rather than only trying to eradicate the negative When you get rid of a problem or a bad habit, you will be left with free time. If you have not thought about how to fill that time productively, the chances are high that your difficulties will recur. Therefore, when you’re formulating a plan to deal […]

The most powerful role models in our lives will almost always be our parents or main carers. This is because we depended on them for our very existence when we were young, so we observed carefully and valued hugely everything they did. However, for reasons I don’t fully understand, later in life we tend either […]

This is extremely difficult, and to do it you must be very honest with yourself. Try to step back from the situation and ask yourself if there’s any way you can behave differently to make things better. The power of this technique was brought home to me years ago, when an extremely experienced relationship therapist […]

It’s difficult to remain motivated to do the hard work involved in making life changes – in fact, I’ve found it to be impossible – unless you have a clear picture of how you want your life to be when that problem is sorted out. That’s why I always ask my patients early on in […]